Monthly Archives: March 2013

Job hunting… The Labyrinth’s Journey

Interviewed for a job. Don’t think I’ll make the first cut though the interview overall I think went well. No hawks on the highway up and only sighting was a dead raptor, hit by a car, on the side of the road coming home. So yeah, not thinking I’ll get the call back for the second interview.

When I did the candle meditation, I also worked with the metal finger Labyrinth I have. Traveling back and forth, in and out, I was really struck by the repetitive nature of the movement – folding upon itself and traveling further in – or further out so the exact path isn’t traveled again, but yet it is the same.


I selected a group of Tarot cards that I felt spoke to me about what has been happening on my job hunt. Generally, if I had laid out cards randomly they wouldn’t fit into what I think as snug as the following sequences.

The Journey – starting on the path


0 The Fool – I strike out with high hopes – and a naïve belief about my future job hunting prospects. Going forth with no knowledge of what it will take to get there or where I’m going. I selected this card because I did have some naïve ideas about the job hunting process but also a renewed, childlike acceptance and joy about  taking the path. I also didn’t know exactly where or what type of job I wanted or would get.

17 The Star – Faith and Trust is poured from the pitchers and it’s a dream of wishes. High aspirations.

Queen of Wands – the Significator card I often choose to represent myself. A confident woman with fire, drive and will. An action oriented personality that just does it – at this point my journey is being powered by my passion and drive to get started and see results.

8 of Pentacles – I start fashioning together my resumes, portfolios and putting together materials to send out and show during interviews. Attention needed to be paid to details and some things need to be re-worked.

Questing isn’t as easy as the Fool thought…


8 of Swords – As I send out resume after resume, with no response, I feel like I’m making no progress. I do feel blindfolded, not knowing what else I can do to get things moving. Helplessness is not an emotion I feel very comfortable with at all. I’m stymied about what direction I should go with my job hunt.

7 of Cups – As jobs appear, many seem to be false paths. Dreams and desires may not be the real thing that I want or value. One job offer I decline. I actually feel this is an indication of personal growth as the job would not have suited me long term and was the wrong job at the wrong time.

7 of Wands – Defensiveness. The Wands are about conflict, usually enjoyable, because of the nature of Wands but here I feel that my lack of recent work history is putting me in a bad position.

8 Strength – Even though I’ve had emotional ups and downs, I’m still calling on my strength and power to get me through. Despite it all, I need to keep job hunting, keep sending out resumes, keep building my online presence and keep searching for the job that would be my ideal one.

Gaining Self Knowledge in the bowels of the Labyrinth


3 of Swords – As I realize the important financial ramifications of finding a job (i.e. being able to get the house finished so it can go on the market, fund my children’s college), I realize the damaging self-truth of how much pressure I’ve put Grenwinae through these years as the primary breadwinner. I had to face the self-knowledge of excuses I made in the past for not working, that I actually like the freedom of not being he primary breadwinner, and how this is all gotten us in the pickle we are in today. Truth can pierce our heart.

3 of Pentacles – a small commission (the job at the Vet clinic) brings some relief.

5 of Cups – Jobs which I felt sure I would be called in for an interview don’t materialize.

Queen of Swords – The Queen of Wands has become Queen of Swords. The Queen of Swords deals with communication: my job field. Experience, self-knowledge and loss have made me wiser. I realize that it’s not going to be as easy as I thought. Coming up with a more comprehensive plan is needed for success.

Contemplation of the Knowledge gained so far….


Knowing what I know now, I expect this path of cards to be repeated several times before the end of the Quest (a job) is reached.

9 The Hermit – with self-discovery, I need to retreat and contemplate the knowledge I have learned. I need to listen to my own inner wisdom and light my path from within. My Animals Guides tell me to recognize my self-knowledge: I have the skills and intelligence to do what I need to do.

7 of Pentacles – Combined with the Hermit, it’s time to look back on what I’ve done what I’ve put together and accomplished. Is it enough? Do I need to do more? How, and with what, can I nourish my job hunt to make it a harvest?

5 Wheel of Fortune – A card of chance – things will change because that is the way of life. Opportunities and possibilities will be offered. I have my own free will to determine what I do when the wheel spins.

5 of Wands – I picked this card to reinforce the conflict and competition I will face along the job hunt. It’s not a death match. I do have some wiggle room as Grenwinae is still the breadwinner but I also need to realize that others may not hold back. We all want to win!

Success… exiting the Labyrinth into the Light


I haven’t reached the entrance out of the labyrinth yet. For me, it will appear in these cards…


1 The Magician – I have the necessary skills and knowledge to create change. I can combine what is above with what is below and serve as a safe and commanding conduit for these powers. This is card of mastery of the outer and inner forces, the spiritual and the earthly.

Queen of Cups – from force and will, to wisdom and experience, the Queen has used her creative intuition and her skill with people to achieve mastery.

14 Temperance – Finally things come together – almost magically simplistic and easy – the right thing at the right time at the right place with the right. For me, I want to mix the right amounts of work, family and play into my life. Finding a job isn’t what I desire – finding the right job that provides the right thing is. Interestingly enough, I picked this card not knowing  #14 is associated with Hawks.

10 of Pentacles – Looking back – looking forward. Enjoying the today of family life and financial abundance. The cycle of a life with maturity, balance, security and stability.


Asking the Guides for Clarification and Messages

On the way home yesterday I had an amazing encounter! On the highway, a hawk suddenly took off from his perch and started pacing my vehicle! If someone had been sitting on the passenger side they could have rolled down the window and touched the wings! It was an amazing view, and I slowed down the car to his speed for a bit to admire it.

He had a black head, the top of his wings were black and his bottom white (counter shading).

Thank you Hawk friend! Good hunting!


With this so obvious call to my attention, I did another candle meditation, thanking my animal guides, Owl and Hawk, for their recent support and signs. I also asked them to clarify what their advice was:

1.) You have the skills, don’t sweat it so much. Most of the hawks I’ve seen recently have been gliding, using the air thermals to keep them aloft.

2.) Stay focused. I might need a closer view of what is happening.

3.) Take it. One hawk had just caught prey. I’ve caught this job interview and I will catch another if need be.

4) Use the Light. The last message wasn’t clear to me but rather mysterious. Was it a light at the end of the tunnel? The light of knowledge? Hm….

More Cooper Hawks

I’ve had several recent encounters with hawks. I believe it is the Coopers Hawk – as the other hawk Cooper is often mistaken for, the Sharp Shinned Hawk, is not in this area during the winter.

The first sighting was out the back door. Grenwinae had noticed a hawk in the back woods one day but didn’t get a close look and I didn’t see it at all.

On Saturday, this hawk was sitting on a branch of one of the trees easily seen off our back porch. Considering that it was a wooded area (not open plans), he had a dark head, and was not at all red (i.e. Red Tailed Hawk) I do believe it was a Cooper. When I went out the back porch, all the smaller birds that had been frequenting the bird feeder were gone (and they serve as prey to the Coopers Hawk).

He was a large bird. It always surprises me as they seem smaller in photos.

Coming into town on Monday, saw a raptor in flight, crossed the road. He had the same barred patterns that I had noticed on my other Cooper Hawk sighting but he seemed smaller. He passed too quickly for me to be sure on identification but I’m going with that.

Tuesday saw a hawk sitting on a bush, much lower then usual. Do I need to take a close up look of something?

Job interview this Thursday. Hope they are sending me some strong power.

Outline Schedule of our Couples Retreat

Of course, this is just a schedule based upon our own interests. Your own would be different but it gives you some ideas to play around with. The book I mentioned before The Magickal Retreat by Susan Pesznecker provided a great starting point too for making these plans.

Each day had a special significance so we started working with that. We wanted to also cover the four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water and do a special ceremony with each.

We also knew that with having a college aged son, high school daughter and a variety of pets, we couldn’ immediately just take “off.” We wanted details on meals planned as we would be bringing all the groceries in and reconnect with fixing our own food instead of eating out all the time. We also had some personal, physical activities planned and those have been removed from this public post to safeguard our privacy.

When planning time together: plan around meals as it does take time to fix food; have high energy exercises staggered with meditative time periods; if an exercise is emotionally draining have some time away from each other or something very low key schedule afterwards; and finally, build your retreat so it slowly increases in intensity and activities and then fall off at the end with time to contemplate.


Friday (May 24) – EARTH. A day for love, romance, friendship, relationships


The more we plan out and pack a day or so before the quicker we can get out of town! Car packed, groceries pre-made or bought etc…

Dogs boarded. Arrange pet sitter to check on cats for Saturday and Sunday.


Around 5-7 p.m. If late, have a late lunch so we can have time to re-group before dinner.

Threshold ~ Declaration of Intent. Grounding. Set protections (Sage and Lavender, bells). Joint ceremony, mostly led by Grenwinae who knows more about setting protections. It will be a good time for me to learn some too.

Reconnaissance nature walk – work out some of our pent up excitement!


RELATIONSHIP: What is our Foundation/History? Review photos, letters, and cards through the years. Work out a time table of events and how it changed our relationship. Where we were.

Cleansing Ritual with water 3x (hot tub). If bed weather, backup plan is indoor Jacuzzi tub. Mutual bathing and body exploration, grease paints, massage oil.

Evening dinner ~ Grilled Salmon with sauce, balsamic grilled veggies (green beans and mushrooms) and wild rice with wine. Chocolate covered strawberries or some other fancy dessert we got from town we can hand feed to each other. Focus on different textures, tastes.

** Meals are to be geared to returning us to good eating habits. Quality not quantity. Fixing it ourselves. Not heavily sauced, battered or sugary. Treats are acceptable but not gorging.


Saturday (25) – AIR. A day for tool crafting, creative work, protection, separation, resolution, banishing.

Leisurely wake up! We rarely get to “sleep” in anymore. Wake up when we WANT TOO!

Breakfast ~ Oatmeal with fruits, nuts, turbinado sugar

NATURE WALK: Birds, creatures of the air, nests, binoculars, birdseed offering, check out the property and find a place for our outdoor fantasy! Pack seeds and nuts for our snack.

BIRD MEDITATION/CRAFT ~ connecting with our bird guides through drawing, research, photos. We will have packed our own materials beforehand, focusing on our individual bird guides and decide a project for each (i.e. wand, windchime, drawing, art/craft, photo collage etc…).

A.M. CRAFT: Feather Fans. Grenwinae is doing the research on this craft beforehand.

Lunch ~ Cold ham, cheese varieties, apples, crackers, grapes with toasted crostini bread triangles. Coleslaw, homemade salsa, guacamole. Prepare before we leave or buy from local, upper end food stores.

FUN: Archery? Take that archery class at the parks dept. Can we rent equipment?

Dinner ~ Grilled Chicken with lime sauce, steamed or broiled broccoli, tomato and cucumber salad with garbanzo’s.

AIR CEREMONY ~ Look for a place with a view, high up? Cliff/bluff? SMUDGING FEATHERS ~ Jointly lead this ceremony. Use our feathers to help us work on releasing and letting go – what do we need to remove from our relationship? What do we need to rise above? Not only with each other but in our general lives.

FLIGHT DANCE & SONG ~ Incorporate bells, whistles and feathers. How do our birds move their wings? What noises do they make? Colors? Try to really get into this, express ourselves freely! Do we want to tie streamers to our arms for example? Make a song!

RELATIONSHIP: Blessing each other’s’ personal and couple goals, dreams and high aspirations. Athena will lead this ceremony/activity.

Sleep outside under the stars? star gazing, star maps and star stories. If we don’t want to do the whole night outside at least lay outside talking for a while and observing the night sky.


Sunday (26) – FIRE. A day for male energy day, peace, health, strength, Divine Power

SUN GREETING CEREMONY ~ led by Grenwinae. What times does the sun rise this day?

Breakfast ~ Egg and Cheese cups. Need a recipe to try out beforehand. Fresh pineapple slices with strawberries and blueberries.

NATURE WALK: Tree and Wood habitat exploration. Bring our id books and journals, camera.

CRAFT: Clay firing project  ~ Grenwinae is doing a test of this method before we go.  Craft to make clay medallions or other items. Gather beforehand images or symbols we would want to use on our project.

FUN: Build a sundial out of stones? Or at least a four direction compass rose.

Lunch ~ Cold chicken on Croissant Rolls (spinach leaves, tomato, cucumber) with cold pasta side salad and veggie chips.

CRAFT: Archetypical Outfit for noontime ceremony led by Grenwinae.

CEREMONY: Noon Sun energy ceremony led by Grenwinae.

Dinner ~ Steak, corn on the cob, grilled bell peppers

RELATIONSHIP: Gender Roles – what does Grenwinae perceive the female role is in our relationship? What does Athena perceive the Male role is in our relationship? How do we see the other manifesting the opposite of their gender role? Tarot cards to explore female/male energies and symbolism

FIRE CEREMONY – fire starters, fire salts, firepit, cook our dessert over the fire (foil packets?) before the fire salts as this can have poisonous consquences.


Monday (27) – WATER. A Moon Day, female energy day, beginnings and initiations

Breakfast ~ French Toast (day old Panera Bread), confectionary sugar, bacon, Agave and honey.

NATURE WALK: choose a trail at the water, exploring water habitats, kayaking or wading. Look for holey stones.

WATER BLESSING CEREMONY: ceremony led jointly. Focus the ceremony on change, cleansing and preparing for the Future. Make a waterwheel? Stick, reed, leaf boats?

Lunch ~ Fish tacos, coleslaw, and avocado. Chipotle sauce. Quality veggie chips. Pack this as a picnic lunch so we don’t have to come back to the cabin. Could we bring our small grill with charcoal to cook at the river?

CRAFT: Mask making –

EXERCISE: something exploring the rhythms of the moon’s phases. Participatory.

Dinner ~ Shrimp linguine, sun dried tomatoes, diced bell peppers, shaved carrots. Garlic crostinis with salsa.

SUNSET HONORING CEREMONY – led by Athena with night vigil until Midnight or 2 a.m. What time does the sun set on this day?

RELATIONSHIP: Discussion – Fears, loss, what we hide from each other, masks and facades we use for protection against others or even ourselves.  How a mask changes our appearance. What it hides? Inner and Outer selves. Needs for masks and time for removing masks.


Tuesday (28) – EARTH

Last chance to sleep in.

Breakfast ~ muffins

At least 1 hour individual meditation and journaling about our retreat.

Time to say goodbye. Pack car, clean up. Return Journey

Lunch ~  on the way home. Check messages. Pick up dogs.

Planning our couples retreat

After reading The Magickal Retreat by Pesznicker, I had a great idea that Grenwinae and I should plan a Couples Retreat. Here’s why: after 20 plus years together, through thick and thin, and some pretty good challenges, we’ve both worked on our relationship a LOT. We’ve had a time in counseling, shared confidences and experimented with the physical side of our relationship too.

At this point, finding a book that talks about deepening a couple’s relationship or buying a deck of sex questions really doesn’t cut it! We need something suited for people who have been together a LONG time; a couple that knows a lot about each other already – even some very deep feelings and secrets. Playing fluffy games of rolling fuzzy dice and playing strip poker isn’t going to take us to new heights…. 😛

With this book, geared towards the individual, we both came up with a 5-day Retreat that would focus on looking back and looking forward. We wanted to go late enough in the spring we could do activities in the water, and early enough in the summer that we didn’t burn up with heat. We also needed to schedule when we could get kids and pets taken care of. With vacation leave being skimpy after Grenwinae’s hospital stay, we thought Memorial Day weekend would be a good time.

I’ll share some of it with you….



May 25th is a full moon, Saturday; May 27th is Memorial Day, Monday
June 21st is the Solstice and June 23rd is the full moon.


Isolated remote cabin rental on 20 acres of land, including private river access. About 2 hours away.

Practical matters:

Horse care – Roundbale hay delivery. Large water tanks. Sitter on Sunday and Monday.
Cats – timed feeder
Dogs – boarded at kennel
Kids – Daughter to grandparents.


Grenwinae’s Journal and Athena’s  Journal, pencils, extra paper, markers and/or craft paper

Athena’s backpack, Whistles (2), Binoculars (2), Tree and Bird ID books, GPS or compass

Flashlights (2) with spare batteries, camera with batteries

Basic first aid kit with medicines (Aleve, Zyrtec, bandaids, tweezers, nail clippers)

Toasting dinner glasses

Water clothes and shoes. Kayaks?

Star locator software? Or hand guide

Feather Fan materials, feathers, etc… Boxes, raw silk, lavender and sage for feather storage

Massage oil, body paint/crayons, Tantra books

Archery equipment?

MP3 player and player

Ground cloth/blanket and Yoga Mats, Sleeping bags/air mattress?

Plant clippers and/or knife.

Tarot cards, bells, whistles, music makers, sage and lavender bundles, incense and lighter, salt, “cauldrons”, sand, Birdseed offering, Archetypical outfit and mask materials (made before? How much), etc.. Make a complete list for each ceremony so we can doublecheck. Once we get there, there is no going to the store!

The next entry will show a brief outline of some things we have planned. This isn’t the complete list as some information is too private to share 🙂