Monthly Archives: August 2013

A Cycle Ends

FINALLY, Grenwinae has received an offer which we have accepted. The 2 year Cycle has come full circle. His indentured servitude is over. He has repaid, through served time and his labor, the relocation we received two years ago. A relocation that bought a car, paid off some bills and got us started in a place that gave us plenty of challenges and enriched our spiritual paths.

I did an Awen layout of my Druid Animal Oracle Cards on 8-4-13 so let’s address that last line:


Raven, Heron, Dog and Horse (Reversed). Looking back this is what I think now:

Raven is about Initiation – being inducted, marked for a new experience. The intervention of hidden and perhaps even mystical and unknown.

Crane – patience and waiting. This job took quite a bit of time to get to an offer (over 6 weeks).

Dog – I believe this represents the loyalty of his past co-workers. Two work at the new company and I believe it is through them that he was offered the position.

Horse, reversed – Movement, not settling. While this may have been seen as a negative connotation because reversed Tarot cards generally are, one thing I like about this deck is this isn’t necessarily so. Here we wanted to move and was restless. And thus begins the transition back from Missouri to Oklahoma.

Monday, Grenwinae spent the day with me and I had him pull a card. It was the Horse, reversed. I had the feeling that the cycle would be wrapping up – we might be moving into another type of job hunt but something had ended. That Monday he got an appointment for a Tuesday discussion by some people he had been interviewing with and today he was made (finally!) an offer.

Is this offer all we wanted? No. Not by a long shot. There will need to be sacrifices made, especially as there is a cut in annual salary (that is made up with a bonus – if it happens). However, the dye has been cast and we are doing what is needed for the time being.

Looks like this three day weekend I’ll be using a U-Haul to pack up daughters room, the rest of our books, the shelves, and most of the barn storage. I’m glad the Universe decided to stop being constipated and give us some movement!


black feather magic

I have two days left for the workshop. I have brewed a protective tea every day.

I found two black feathers today. They are opposite feathers I found in front of my path when walking downtown. They could be from a pigeon, crow or cormonant (the most common black birds I saw in the area) but whoever gave them to me is reminders I have two more days to survive without a misstep. The next day I found some gray feathers (possible seagull) which I added to my collection.

I’ve put them with the hotels safety guideline sheet and some other items as a shield. This is part of how I feel urban items can be incorporated into our workings. Whatever represents meaning, and the more it acts as a representation, the more powerful. To not use modern items is to deny I’m a 21st century person.


Sometimes I feel like someone else is moving me through this. This non confrontational, keep her head down, fly under the radar, person is not me.

Two more days.

Two more days.

one third done

I am about one third done on my training. The first day was rough – my computer died’ my boss hadn’t paid the hotel and some other nonsense. I am surviving but because I am now using a tablet, extensive posting has to wait until my return.

It is tiring to be onguard 24-7 and yesterday I was really tested – just a feint and I managed. 6 more days and I’m back on a plane. Is this worth it? We shall see.

Owl greeted me when I got off the plane

Leaving on a jet plane

I didn’t get enough done before leaving town. However, I did put some time in thinking about protections and seeing what I could come up with. I was able to find some new stones to take with me, each representing one of my Animal Guides: Onyz (Owl) for protection, Fluorite (Rabbit) emotional cleanser; Rhodonite (Vulture) healing from the past and love; and my green Malachite (Hawk), success in business. Once again, Hawk was a bit standoffish but that is just Hawk’s character (UPG) so I won’t take it personal.

Frankincense, Cumin Seed, Hawthorn Berries, Star Anise with a dash of Vanilla was the initial scent I used. However, I also discovered that the inner contents of a tea content make a wonderful loose incense when placed upon a charcoal briquette. That gave me further protection and connected me to the tea packets I’ll be using daily as setting protections back into place.

I asked all my Guides for protection and they reaffirmed to me that I am protected. They also reaffirmed to me that I need to look to my own abilities and I will find that I have what it takes to weather this week.

Pulling a card from the Animal Druid Oracle, it was the Water Dragon: emotionally things will be turbulent and past issues may surface. I just need to see it as a learning experience and know that I can learn from it. After all it’s only 10 days and 2 of those are in the travel.

I can do this!

End of Ritual

Asking for help

Tried to do a meditation outside. Pretty much it sucked. I did learn one thing. For some reason, I smelled the scent of Vanilla and was told to use it during this time.


Went back inside and decided to play with my crystals and rocks. After reading the Dusken Path’s info on stones, which to me makes a lot more sense, I decided to go through my small collection and ask who would want to help in getting Grenwinae a job and bringing him back home to me?

Burning a candle, I took each stone or crystal into my left hand and asked it if it would like to work towards this endeavor. What was really neat was the small Citrine stones (in my mind I call them jelly babies as they are shaped rather like them) actually seemed to dance in my hand with energy. It was like holding corn while it popped. They pretty much said they LIVE TO MAKE THIS KINDA STUFF HAPPEN! YES!

Meanwhile other stones, indicated they clearly didn’t want to be involved. One stone I recently acquired, gave me the feeling that the time for it’s purpose hasn’t been reached yet; an odd thought.

Overall, an interesting experiment playing with energy and trying to be intuitive.

Protections – I prefer simple and secretive

Since I’ve been actively reading other pagan blogs, it doesn’t surprise me that people often talk of defense or protection when it comes to spells or cleansings. You open yourself to the Universe and the Universe may send some things to start knocking on your door.

What does kinda surprise me is that people always want to take the aggressive stand, when in nature this is not the first choice. Animals rarely “fight to the death” – they rely upon image, deception, concealment and posturizing to keep safe. Nature doesn’t want to get hurt – and it will flee if it doesn’t think it will win. It’s people that are that kinda of stupid.


Non-scientific outline follows…

1st defense: You Don’t See Me. This is used by prey (i.e. Rabbit) and predator (Owl, Coopers’ Hawk). It may involve protective coloring that allows the animal to blend into it’s environment, or it may just involve stillness. C’mon folks! Even Obi Wan knew that you don’t want to be noticed and or go out of your way to pick a fight. Your first defense should be your cloak of invisibility.

2nd defense:  I’m Not What You Think. Protective coloring or shape that deceives the viewer that what they see is actually something else. Think about the eye spots on the back of a Tigers’ ears; eyespots are also common moth wings. Animals that look like a rock. Fish that look like a plant.

I will be using this defense, in addition to the first, on my trip. I really don’t want these people to know exactly what they are dealing with when they start their headgames.

Check out what I’ve found!

Yogi Moon Cycle tea has Fennel Seed, Ginger Root, Cinnamon Bark, Chamomile Flower, Raspberry Lea, Anise Seed, Dong Quai Root, Chaste Tree Berry, Juniper Berry, and Parsley. Way Out Wax Soy candle called Clear Head with Eucalyptus, Peppermint and Rosemary, for the end of that long day to blow away their Smoke and Mirrors Act. Dong Quai (Angelica) vitamin capsules for spellwork. I’ll be going over to Target later today to look for a mirror compact and than off to my stone store.

3rd defense: Blend Into a Crowd.  Done by groups of small fish and Zebras. Another optical illusion and concealment defense by using others around you to go unnoticed as the individual. Think of how we dress for outings – we don’t wear a wedding dress to tramp the mall. I try to do this at parties or when I’m shopping and don’t want salespeople to bother me.

4th You Really Don’t Want To Go There. Aggressive coloring on snakes or insects can warn off others that they simply don’t want to tangle with them. Humans mimick this by name dropping their connections (I’m powerful), dressing better than inferiors, tone of voice, presentation of manner, and confident manner. A woman, confidently walking to her car in the parking lot, with keys to the ready and knowing where she is going is less likely to be targeted by evil.

Generally, I rely upon #4 but in this situation, concealment will be a far better choice.

5th Moving Towards Confrontation – I’m a Bigger Badass Than You. Cats, among other animals, enlarge their physical presence to intimidate their attacker – the classic “poof,” arched back, and sideways stalk.  Yeah, I could dress up like some sort of gang-banger but the upshot is, with human behavior, there is always someone who thinks they are a bigger badass. Be prepared to prove it if you pick #5.


The upshot is these are all defensive methods for the most part – they are reactions to an action or perceived threat. I am not someone who goes out of her way to beat up others. I also believe, while the Universe works very slowly, people of a certain type are eventually taken care of by powers greater than my own. That’s been proven time and time again – and I have 50 years to look back and go tsk tsk about some Karmic retribution to former enemies which happened due to no input from me.

Here’s the reality of being an aggressor – it chews you up inside in the long run. So unless you have no other choice, unless there are no other options, don’t aggressively and consistently attack. Nature doesn’t reward it.

Don’t get me wrong if I was physically attacked or in danger (or my loved ones) I can be swift to use my Owl talons to remove your head and stuff it up your ass. I just don’t think this is called for in the majority of situations.

Great Horned Owl claw can rip off the head of a Woodchuck

Needing Rabbit’s Invisibility

I will be soon leaving on a business trip – the timing is wrong, the people I’m meeting up with psychologically damaging, and I’ll be trapped for 10 days. The trapped part concerns me the most as I don’t do well when cornered. Because this trip is out of the country I will have no local friend or family support, and no way to escape to be alone.

I have been thinking about what I’ll need and that comes down to is Rabbit. I need Rabbit to help me hide in plain sight. a cloak of invisibility. I need to be able to quickly navigate through tricky conversations and disappear from the radar of predator-type people. I need to be silent and still my busy Me-Mind so I can watch for danger and reveal very little about myself. I need to combat invasive questions with silence, not anger or counter-attacks.

You might recall that Rabbit has protected me before? This type of protection is not obvious. You are there, but no one really notices you. I could also call upon Owl but Owl is more about predation and I really want to just fade away before these people’s eyes. I don’t want to get combative with these people – not only are they dangerous, but it could cost me my job and I need a check right now.

Because of my work being separate from this blog, I can’t go into details about what this is all about. It would be great if I didn’t have to go, but necessity requires it and I plan on going with the best armor I can find: Rabbits charming and childlike behavior combined with invisibility.

As usual, Rabbit re-affirms our connection by giving me a bunny story on a blog I read today – and by being in the front yard when I came home this morning. Rabbit, in quiet subtle ways, shows me, Yes I am here, if you know where to look. ETA and another rabbit just came into my in-box!


At Ramblings of a Modern Pagan, there is a post about the difference between an Amulet and a Talisman. I’ll be making an amulet, asking for Rabbit’s protection, during my trip. My Amulet will be charged to work over the 10 days of the trip and has to be designed so I can wear it without anyone the wiser.

The Herbs I’m considering would work with my own personality. Since I am not a shy, retiring, vulnerable type – but a brash, aggressive, assertive type I need a balance for those tendencies:

Angelica (Dong Quai) – Long associated with the Angels. Serves as a barrier against and boosts you from within. I need the power of any Guardian that I can get.
Anise Seed – Protection. Wards off the Evil Eye.
Cumin – Combines with Frankincense for protection. Used with salt, drives out evil. Anti-theft.
Frankincense Resin – Self will, self control of ego, purifies and protects.
Garlic – protection against vampires (yeah I know but these people ARE vampires!). Exorcism, Anti-theft.
Rosemary – Purifies, removes negativity, helps with memory (this is a learning course). Exorcism.
Thyme – Courage when needed, attracts loyalty and good opinion of others. Wards negativity.
Valerian – Protection. Often substitutes for graveyard dust. Calms the emotions.

I’d like to find some stones to take with me but my time and money is limited. My selection of stores, few. I’ll see if I can find any: Fluorite, Jasper, MalachiteMoss AgateTiger Eye, or Onyx.


The best protection I can do is stay grounded in my own reality. Don’t let my emotions over run me, especially those of frustration and anger. I need to be disingenuous, with a front of earnest willingness. When they try to poke me with a stick, I don’t even see the stick. I don’t even know they would USE a stick! I don’t even know what a stick IS!

Yes, this is false, deceptive and it goes against my very nature. But protection supersedes being “true to myself.” This is all a game of lies, manipulation and intimidation. I’m not planning on playing fair.

A Debt Against Darkness

We travel through a darkness,

holding hands,

against the fear

that nothing changes  —

or that all will change.


We make promises —

to the Mystery.

Bargaining our futures,

Running a tab,

we hope never to pay.


We cry and rage —

The storm is caught.

in stillness.

Trapped and locked.

With a lid that smothers us,


Anger and Terror melds itself

into a cold stone heart.

This egg is but an Ancient Worm

that gnaws on a feast

our blood, bone and brain provides.


Nothing changes….

And no soul’s screaming,

hastens the Sun’s Arrival.

A Loving Moon Rock Collection

I bought a Pink Rhodonite stone heart. With all that is happening I need a focus stone on learning to balance my emotions and the frustrations that is going on with being apart from Grenwinae. It’s part of a little collection that I see as my Moon Power stones: Girasol Quartz (clear and opaque), clear Quartz, Moonstone, and Rose Quartz. These stones are affiliated with love, balance and the “softer” emotions of self acceptance, emotional acceptance, and gentle healing.



Heard an Owl story today from a visitor to work. The Owl had been hit by a car and brought to the storyteller when he was living in a frat house. The Owl stayed for three days living on top of his bicycle rack, hanging from the ceiling. By the fourth day, he was gone (presumably out the window).


I had a dream about an old friend I haven’t seen for some time. She is one of two friends who I am no longer friends with since my friendship wasn’t convenient to them during my time of crisis. The second friend I heard from by email the day of the morning dream. It still doesn’t motivate me to reach out to her. I’ve had enough with friends who pick up friendships when it suits them. I don’t need 100 close Facebook “friends” who are as meaningless to my existence as a bowl of Jell-O.

ETA: I see this last paragraph may not seem “loving” and in direct contradiction to the post LOL. LIfe is also about self love, setting boundaries and letting people leave your life with a salute of “peace be with you but don’t bother me again, please. Said with the upmost love and compassion.”


Last weekend, Grenwinae and I went to the new barn to see how my horse was settling in. At the fenceline a large spider was carrying a wasp it had killed. Since one of Grenwinae’s Guides is Spider, I thought it was a significant message. I think he just thought it was gross and didn’t investigate fully. Not sure he is completely in synch with Spider like he thinks he is. 😀


Grenwinae is back to Missouri. A job he once applied for has been listed available again. He’s pursuing it so we shall see what happens.