I had a very strong dream this morning. Before I go into what I was about, I want to explain that when I left Oklahoma for my business trip I brought a pendant with me.
This pendant holds a turquoise (often used as a charm by riders – the Native American and Mongols – as a ward against horse accidents) and a silver stamped pendant that has a triskele on one side and a trio of Celtic horses on the other. I brought this because I was thinking of horse strength and endurance, not only for the trip but for my medical situation.
I also brought a little mala (of 28 beads for the 28 days of a woman’s cycle) composed of alternating rough beads of Carnelian and Brecciated Jasper.
Last night I slept with both and this is the Power Dream I had:
I have bought a new horse home. It is a large, 16 hand, Thoroughbred type, colored deep chestnut and almost a bay in color. The impression I have in the dream is that I received him as his “last chance for a home.” It immediately becomes apparent why everyone has given up on him – he is extremely reactive and in a manner that is dangerous to himself and those around him.
This horse becomes so reactive that he (it was a gelding in the dream), throws himself backwards in a trailer, flailing to the point he could have broken his leg, back or neck.
In the dream, I make the decision to have him humanely euthanized and buried on the property where I am boarding my horses.
I once owned a horse that was calm until you tried to ride her. At that point she reared and tried to smash you by going over. This is an extremely dangerous behavior and I sold her on the caveat she was never to be a riding horse – the people immediately tried to ride her and became injured.
In retrospect, I always regretted that I never sent her back (for free) to the person who sold her too me or that I didn’t have her humanely destroyed. She was an accident (literally) waiting to happen that could have (and probably has by now) resulted in serious injury.
Last week the discussion arose that I might have to euthanize my 20 plus year old gelding as age is catching up with him. For those not horse savvy why this has to be discussed and planned is that disposing of a 1200 pound horse is not an easy situation.
For example, most horse owners opt for rendering. This is where the meat man shows up, chops up the horses’ body and than disposes of the meat (in my area) to the zoo. I don’t think the spirit resides in dead flesh and I am going for cremation myself, and I know horses are prey animals and this is all a cycle of life etc… etc… however, these horses are my friends – not work or farm animals – and I couldn’t cope with that type of “ending.”
On the surface you would think this dream is only revolving around a horse that I will need to make a sad decision about – probably in the next 18 months – yet, I know my unconscious. It is far more symbolic and tricky than surface impressions.
I believe this is also a shadow dream reflecting the health situation. I will do what I need to do – take care of what I need to take care – even if it is unpleasant and sorrowful. This dream was showing that I had the strength and compassion to make the right decision even for something that is as horrible as ending a life, let alone ripping out my uterus.
It’s the first power dream I’ve had in a long time. Probably the first since I moved away from Missouri back in May.