Two days ago the Wild was calling me. I hung up the phone and retreated to a book. When I’m emotionally drained, I just want to crawl under the covers, turn off the phone and tell the world to go fuck itself.
Yesterday I felt like I was able to connect and went outside for some time.
It’s never truly dark in the city. It’s one of the things I dislike so much about suburbia. However, the weather was building up for an approaching storm and it is my favorite time of the night – the feeling of a storm brewing, the suppressed electric feel to the air, and the expectancy of Nature letting loose.
I’ve noticed that when the wind starts up there is the beginning of something… a conversation? as this has happened several times before.
I’m in a difficult and strange situation at work. Due to my age, and life experiences, I understand why my boss is angry and snapping at people. However, from my age and life experiences I also know this behavior won’t solve the problem that she finds herself in.
As a mid-level supervisor, I hear from the folk below me and I sympathize with their situation. I hear from my boss and know where she is coming from. I also know what the most likely outcome of all of this is going to be from my age and life experiences.
Worst is I don’t know what to do about it. I’m an action-rabbit person who wants to hop about and get some stuff done quick-quick. This is not what this situation calls for. My hands are tied and I have few, if any, avenues.
This is where I was last night. So the call went out to the Universe and I was reminded that the Universe answers in it’s own time.
I told the Universe I had too much too do…the Universe replied:
that well may be but you need to slow down anyway.
I told the Universe, I didn’t know how to deal with my boss….the Universe replied:
Love and Compassion can be offered from the wellspring of Wisdom.
Or something like that.
So I made this little grouping of Rose Quartz, Girasol, Rhodonite, Pink Calcite and Pink Agate with a spear of Clear Quartz. Flourite sits on top of my Labyrinth – dealing with a maze of emotion.
I tried to remember compassion during the unexpected staff meeting when she wanted to blame everyone but herself for why things are in the state they are in. I took some deep breaths and grounded myself when she wanted to focus on trivialities instead of the fact business-wise, we are drowning.
Yet, I forgot to be compassionate when I had to terminate someone’s employment. Sometimes my compassion is a miss and I need to work on getting more hits.
I need to use my knowledge to provide the emotional support others need from me – bringing forth love and compassion because I understand though my wisdom what is happening to them and to me.
I need to provide support to Grenwinae by smoothing his path;
I need to focus on the needs of our children for me to stay present with them during these changing, growing up years;
I need to know that my path will present itself when I’m ready and something will appear when I need that;
I need to trust in the Unknown.