Monthly Archives: December 2013

ritual cleansing oil

We are making a few plans before Grenwinae’s winter vacation ends, such as a trip to Missouri to clean out the rental house. While there I want to do some ceremonies and because of some changes in the house in Oklahoma, I am finding myself in need of a ritual cleansing oil.

I have a variety of Incense, Sage, sweet grass, Myrrh, frankincense, Palo Santo wood etc.. to do smudging ceremonies. However, for some objects, I would like to use a scented olive oil to cleanse the object of any previous energy. This is especially true of containers, bowls and bells.

Of course I could use specific oils to ready something for a specific crafting (i.e. protection, prosperity, health etc…) but in this instance I am looking for something to vanquish, cleanse and prepare an item for a later step. This list is gathered from several online sources (see the bottom of this post for links) as well as my personal choices as those easy to find and use.

Anise Star — to blend with Rose, Lavender, Orange, and spicy EO.

Camphor — to blend with Frankincense and Neroli. Purification and promotes celibacy.

Cedarwood (Atlas and Virginia) — Atlas is sharper in smell than Virginia. Enhances Spirituality.

Citronella — to blend with Lemongrass, Eucalyptus, Rosemary, Lavender, Peppermint, Vanilla, and Bergamot.

Cypress — to blend with Mint and/or Citrus varieties (try grapefruit). Put in lower dosage when using it with floral scents. Blessing, concretion and protection. Assists in healing and easing loss.

Dragons Blood — Patchouli, Lavender, Rosemary and Tea Tree.

Eucalyptus — Used in purification blends.

Grapefruit — Purification.

Juniper Berry — to blend with Cedarwood, Cypress, Pine, Orange or Grapefruit. Purification, protection and healing.

Lemon — Benzoin, Chamomile, Eucalyptus, Fennel, Frankincense, Geranium, Juniper, Neroli, and  Ylang Ylang. Purification and healing oils associated with the moon.

Lemongrass — Basil, Jasmine, Lavender, Geranium, Fennel, Orange, Benzoin, Chamomile, Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang, Sage, and other citrus oils. Psychic awareness and purification.

Lime — Bergamot, Lavender, Cedarwood, Clary Sage, Lemongrass and Pine. Purification and protection.

Neroli — All other oils especially Lavender, Jasmine, Lemon, Clary Sage, Myrrh, and Vanilla. Spicy oils such as nutmeg, cinnamon, and clove. Happiness and purification.

Sweet Orange — Blends well with Grapefruit, Ginger, Tangerine Clary Sage, Myrrh, Nutmeg, Cinnamon, Cassia, Clove, and Lavender essential oils. Purification and associated with the Sun.

Peppermint — Rosemary, Eucalyptus, Lavender, Spearmint, Benzoin, Black Pepper,  Melissa, Marjoram, and spice oils. Use in small quantities (1%). Purification.

Pine — Eucalyptus, Lavender, other spice oils and other coniferous oils. Purification, protection, money and healing formulas.

Spearmint — less intense than Peppermint. To blend with Peppermint, Basil, Orange, and Lavender.

It’s interesting that many of those listed are associated with common cleaning products for the home (soaps, dishwasher or laundry detergents, counter cleansers etc…. Citrus and pine scents can clear the air or the mind and smell “fresh.” Some smells may appeal or not appeal to you due to your personal history with them. If blending scents I would be aware of each individual scent and make sure they don’t compete with each other. For example, blending an invigorating scent with a relaxing one would be in opposition with their core values.

You may find that one essential oil seems related to a deity you follow. If oranges are related to the Sun, and Lemons with the Moon you may want to plan their use according to the time or day or male/female energies. A scent may trigger a memory for you or it’s history aligns with your own; for these reasons I am strongly drawn to pines, cedarwood and the citrus family.

Favorites for oil bases (carrier oils) include olive oil (easily obtained at a grocery store but has a strong smell), grapeseed oil (found at health food stores, sometimes at the grocer, no smell), and other possibilities include Coconut Oil, Jojoba Oil, and/or Safflower Oil. If using Almond Oil be aware that it will effect you if you have nut allergies. Avoid GMO products like Canola Oil.

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Sources: The Anointing article at Wiki gives you a short history that is interesting. An informative overview here at Spiritual Spells. Aroma Web has a one page, general article about anointing oils. Obsidians’ list of herb properties (which would also apply to your essential oils).

My own House Cleansing 101 article and my own article about how to create an Essential Oil blend.

Essential Oils sorted by purpose at Aroma Web’s Essential Oil for Spirituality, Pagan Dreams has several online anointing oil recipes. Blessed Be has quite a list. A variety of oils at Sibylline. Another list of Essential Oils and their properties at Sacred Wicca website. For posts about herbs, check out the Druids Well blog and Deep Glades Apothecary,

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I put together a mix of Juniper Berry and Grapefruit Essential Oils, and made two samples: one with Olive Oil and the other with Grapeseed oil. I let the soaked cotton balls sit in a sealed plastic baggie for a few days and went back to it last night.

The Olive Oil one has a more “cleaning” scent, deeper and fruitier? Heavier? The Grapeseed Oil was lighter and airy. I’ve decided to use the Olive Oil for my use of cleansing tools – wiping away previous energies.

Each person has to choose oils that mean something to them… it all comes down to intent, preparation and use.

Its a Pagan Solistice Miracle!

I wasn’t raised Christian. Funny, but I don’t know what beliefs my parents held. We did celebrate Halloween (costumes and door to door), Thanksgiving, Christmas (a tree and presents) and Easter (dyeing eggs and Easter egg hunts). However, while I knew about Jesus and the backstory so to speak on Christmas and Easter (the Christian viewpoint), it was never truly important to my parents.

So I don’t come to you with a lot of angst against being raised __________  (insert here, Catholic, Protestant, Baptist etc…) and that’s exactly the way I like it.

My only problem with Christianity is Christians and their hypocrisy. If I was raised in a predominately Muslim country I would probably be shaking my fist against the sky and laminating about Muslim hypocrisy. Hypocrites and religion seem to go hand in hand don’t they?

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I never believed in a Christian God and never will. However, I will always have a tree at “Christmas.” A decorated Christmas tree, stockings by the fireplace, cookies for Santa, and presents under the tree is part of childhood that (unlike my siblings’ memories) has stayed in my mind as a magical time of the year.

I’ve been thinking over that oddity. I have a 20 year old son who is an atheist, and a daughter that is definitely not Christian (despite the neighbors who got her to sign paperwork to that effect when she was about 10 years of age).

And yet the tree stands.

I do not know if for my kids that the tree has that special significance. I remember laying under the Christmas tree and staring at the colored lights for what seemed hours. How the presents that came in the mail from grandma had a special feel to them because of the old fashioned papers she always liked to pick out (which btw never were “great” gifts but still the unknown inside worked a spell). Any box under the tree seemed to encompass all potential and that in itself was more exciting than what lay inside.

Even though I feel that the closest description of my beliefs falls into the pagan category, it doesn’t influence how I feel about an evergreen standing in my living room.

The tree with lights and shiny things will always stand in my heart and house.

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Grenwinae made a Yule cake for Winter Solstice, recipe adapted from this one, changing hazelnuts to cherry preserves and the mushrooms were made from mock-marzipan (don’t they look great?):

yule_log_cake1

yule_log_cake2

He says he’s going outside tonight to meditate with a candle in the ice and sleet storm.

Okay. I will be inside with some mulled cider and lay out on paper the new herb and vegetable garden for the spring.

Awen Spread: work forecast

The day before I quit, I did a Druid Animal Spread and trust me there was nothing there that showed something calamitous was going to happen. I did the Awen Spread and if you want to read about a previous Awen spread here is the post.

First Row (past)

Dog is a guardian, companion, and protector on the journey. He’s about loyalty and has shown up previously connected to Grenwinae’s work. In questions about work, it seems to be about my personal loyalty to myself, to co-works and employers. A feeling of loyalty has always kept me longer at work, working for people unworthy of my skills, and made me swallow down things I probably shouldn’t have.

Adder, reversed was also in my cross spread in September when I left for the second round of training. From a present reading in September to a past position now, in retrospect, I feel this card was about healing myself at/through work. I was able to have a lot of self control on that trip without compromising myself, something that has been hard for me in the past. Still, the card is a bit ambiguous.

Fox is about diplomacy and having the cunning to know when to speak and when to hold council.

Reading these as a line, and looking back over the situation at work, I feel that they are pretty accurate. I was loyal and worked hard to be balanced in my judgment at work and in my training. I was diplomatic with my boss and staff. What the cards don’t reveal is the cost of that time, though I feel I grew in understanding the wear and tear caught up with me later.

Second Row (present)

Wolf has appeared in a reading for Daughter. Here I think it has a lot of the same connotation. A strength and surety in the self. A loyalty that is similar to the Dog but is more of loyalty to self than to another. The dog is to the left of this card, and both are on the top line of the row. I think this shows the shift in my loyalties from being committed to my employer and staff, to moving back to a belief in myself and doing what I need for myself.

Stag Reversed is about Pride. Boy, that one got me! Again, like many of the Animal Oracle cards there is not a plus and negative like you see in traditional Tarot card readings. Was I going to let false pride get in my way? Or should I understand that pride, in it’s place, lets us not be stepped on? I guess you could say my pride was why I left yesterday. However, do I regret it? No.

Sow Reversed was upright during Daughters’ reading. It may mean a bit of famine, especially as my final paycheck will not be large since I quit soon after a pay period. We’ll be a little tighter than we had planned. Again, I don’t see reversed Animal Oracle cards having the devastating meanings that a traditional Tarot deck has and I like that.

Well, unlike the Tarot I don’t think I had a clear indication of exactly what was going to happen the next day – me quitting! The Wolf was the clearest indication of how my mindset has changed from past to present. Instead of the loyal dog using diplomacy, I started looking out for myself (wolf) and what was important to me (Stag, reversed) which will result in a bit of tightening the belt (Sow, reversed).

Third Row (future)

Eagle has shown before in relation to job hunting. It is about widening the view – seeing the entire picture. It also seems to mean for me that a target or goal will be presented soon for me to take aim at. It also seems to be related to job hunting and finding something to grasp.

Water Dragon Reversed has also appeared before in the September reading and with a Grenwinae reading, but is here in a future position. I’ve found this a difficult card to understand. I’ve come to think it’s about our actions being governed by emotional history and not by reason. It’s when we respond to deep emotions that were dictated to us due to previous experiences – yet I also wonder if it might be tied to intuition? Learning to let go enough you can tap into knee-jerk emotional responses so you can also learn how to manage, learn from them, use them or defeat them.

Otter showed up on a spread I did for Grenwinae right after the crap hit the fan at his previous work. It told him not to take stuff so seriously. Look after himself and have some fun. It struck us both as an odd card at the time because things looked pretty dire. Here it repeats itself – things look dire, and I’m being reminded to take off and have fun.

Overall, considering I just quit a job, the future doesn’t look that bleak. I need to widen my thinking, listen to my intuition and be ware of kneejerk emotional reactions – while having some fun!

To tell the truth this is a confusing reading for what happened. It will be interesting to see how things play out over the next 2 months as how it relates here. I think I’ll also redo the cards tonight for more clarification since I’m back on the hunt.

An explanation of sorts

If I find myself so angry that I am crying it is time to remove myself from a situation. Whether it is family or work, if I am feeling out of control of myself, it is time to walk away. Yes I have a family of hot tempers, and I have one myself, but I have learned enough self control that if I can’t keep that control any longer, things have gone well past a certain point.

Yesterday I racked my brain as to why that day? Why couldn’t I keep it together? Why did I just lose it and have to walk away? As my boss did nothing that she hasn’t been doing to me for the last seven months.

Today, I think I have that answer. It was the constant stream of bitchiness out of her mouth. Nothing was done right. Nothing met her standards. No thank you’s. No simple courtesies of talking to someone like they are a human being and not filth on her shoe. It wasn’t that what she said was even that important or “bad”  – it was the constant stream of negativity.

It wore me down.

It defeated me.

It was crushing my spirit.

I kept trying to gamble with the devil – I can stay til the end of November, the end of December, I think I can make my year mark in May etc… but it all came to naught.

My survival instinct demanded an immediate evacuation to a lifeboat.

To save myself, I left. I wish it had been with notice and more nice but there it is.

Life moves onward and that job is already under the bridge, swirling away among the debris to go down the river into the vast ocean.

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I have a lot to think over and to write about. I will say no more about my former employer however, I do have some things I want to write about myself.

I have never harmed myself by quitting a job.

I have hurt myself by staying too long at a job.

These are the two things I need to know and remember as fact.

Don’t poke a tiger

If you’ve been following along… which considering my small readership, likely not… I have been having doubts about my job since I came back from my training in September.

In brief, we had a poor financial month in September because my boss was not at work for almost two weeks. In October, she spent most of her time verbally sniping at staff, with the majority heaped upon my, and my counterpart’s, heads. It was a constant griping that was water dripping on stone.

I…am…done.

I quit yesterday in the middle of some high drama that I couldn’t stand anymore.

A Kestrel is shared with me

Before going to bed last night I asked my guides to send me any message they deemed fit in my dreams. I woke up with one very vivid dream in mind and while I cannot convey the magic of it to you with mere words, I felt it:

In the dream, I am in a field, loading the back of my black SUV. It was a clear, sunny day. It seemed to me we had been having some sort of pleasurable outing like a picnic or hike. Grenwinae was there as well as my BFF and someone I knew as her husband (not her husband if you know what I mean).

Off in the treeline to my right was a man in the shadows. In the sky I notice a hawk so look up to watch. In my mind I immediately identified it as a Kestrel. He hovers over me, getting closer. Hovering is typical of Kestrel flying patterns.

His feathered pattern is crystal clear. In reality (not dream time) he is more patterned as a Coopers Hawk which I’ve written about several times in this blog). I can see his eye as he looks at me.

I reach out my left arm, inviting him. Suddenly he lands – lightly, not with the weight of a real bird. He has jesses on his legs and bends down to peck at them, drawing my attention. I know in my dream that his claws should tear my arm as I am in short sleeves but they don’t.

A voice to my right tells me in a friendly voice that he will take his bird back now, and the bird takes flight and lands on the man’s arm – the watcher from the woods who has no face.

I woke up with a good feeling for the day.

 

crossroads

 

Last week before the ice storm hit, the hawks flew by and told me something (a message?) was coming. I wasn’t able to discern the actual message though so we shall see what we shall see.

My job continues to make my head spin with the decisions I know I need to make but don’t want to make. In preparation the resume has been updated. I’ve applied to another job. Will I even get a call… an interview… a choice? (as I wrote this – I got back an email and a tentative time for an interview) Who knows? It’s really about, for me, being in a place where I am open and ready to make the change.

Considering, I replaced a long employer-employee relationship with someone fired after 27 years of service and she has proved to be vindictive, yes, some sort of cleansing would definitely be in order if I was in charge. I think the office could do with either a good old fashioned Exorcism with an experienced Catholic Priest, or maybe with some hag witch we found living under a bridge. Because, as soon as I think we are rounding a corner and getting our feet under us, business wise, we are lopped off at the knees.

The last month I have been fighting the knowledge that I am at this crossroads. I tell myself: oh you can manage another 4 months (that would be my year anniversary) or you can get to the end of the year… but than I go to work with my stomach all squirmy and I know that I am trying to convince myself to hang in there when I know (because of past experiences) what the inevitable will be.

Pros

Close to home.

Like my co-workers.

As boss, I get a lot of flexibility on how things are done around there.

Fantastic pet discount.

I like making a difference.

Am learning a lot of stuff.

Somewhat flexible work schedule.

Son has a part-time employment there so a bit of income that works around school schedule

Cons

Don’t feel appreciated by boss. Drama from boss.

Hours have become very long due to quitting staff.

Responsible for business income (myself and co-work are blamed if income is not up)

Pay is poor and I could easily make more per hour by changing work. As an hourly employee another $2-$4 higher makes quite a difference on that paycheck.

Paydays have continued to be delayed – sometimes up to two days past – and thus payment of my own bills gets delayed. Boss talks about not being able to meet payroll. Some of this really just comes down to money. I need money. I have bills to pay. Right now Grenwinae is working a second job that I don’t want him working. I can’t afford to have my hours cut, be laid off, or lose a job. I work and expect to be paid for my work. I am not a credit system.

Because of my past employment experiences I have doubts the business will continue which could lead to abrupt unemployment.

The biggest issue is that I have no trust or faith that my employer (the owner and boss) has what it takes to succeed. I think she really is screwed up to put it bluntly.

OTOH the fat will be in the fire if I leave. Oh yes, big time because she thinks I am obligated to stay and I know legally that obligation does not exist (long story). So if I give my notice I expect all hell to break loose. The peaceful, no-drama part of me doesn’t want to deal with fall out. I’m not a quitter – I’m a terrier, diving in the hole, with my teeth sunk into the fighting rat.

However, I know that life gets to a point of no-return. In the past I’ve sailed my ship past that warning sign, into the storm, and the resulting damage to myself has always been high. In one instance so high that the lost parts of my heart changed me forever.