Friday morning I woke with the memory of a dream where I shapeshifted into a huge, black griffin.
We were heading to Missouri to close out the rental house. The six month process of grieving and letting go that had been slowly unwinding, since Grenwinae found a new job in Tulsa and left the house full-time, would be completed. We would have come full circle – emerging from a Labyrinth time of deep spiritual learning, rendering and cleansings.
Vulture took our Flesh and transformed it to Spirit.
Before we left town I felt we needed to visit and check on my horses. As we drove through the countryside, Vulture started to circle. One dropped down and flew parallel to the car – so close you could make out the wrinkles on her face and the roundness of her eye.
I acknowledged Her and knew She would be with us the entire trip up to Springfield. As I thought this the Turkey Vulture banked upwards and flew over the car, and looped back over us again.
We’ve had many encounters with Vultures at the Missouri property. Routinely they have flown over on their flight plan and appeared on the property during auspicious times. It was in the Mark Twain National Forest located across the road from our house that I was gifted my Vulture feathers.
When I returned from dropping off items at storage, Grenwinae was mowing and didn’t see me drive up. I watched him for a bit but he couldn’t hear me with his ear plugs. A Vulture flew over him (and as he related later), he thought maybe I was home and looked up to see me waving.
The entire year (two years for Grenwinae) were times of huge, emotional sheds:
Grenwinae left the comfort of home and moved, due to work, to a city where he knew no one and had no family support. This was HUGE for him as he has always played it safe and clung to stability, much to the detriment of our relationship. A few weeks before Grenwinae was given his new job (August 27th) he came home to find Vulture sitting on the handle of the watering pump at our herb garden (August 2nd).
I had to take responsibility for not working and how that has landed us in a financial pickle; that I couldn’t continue to use the kids or Grenwinae as excuses for not chipping in and doing my part to keep the family financially solvent. I had to face some unpleasant, whiny aspects of my personality that I would rather disavow.
I had brought my cedar box made from my Grandmothers blanket chest, my Druid Oracle Card deck and my Vulture’s Tears Anointing Oil (this is a custom blend of Cypress, Juniper Berry, Lime and Frankincense).
Across from our house, there was a dead Vulture – most likely hit by a car when it was on the road eating. I knew this was a gift – and She was sent into fire and smoke as we gave thanks for all that the land had given these last two years of enlightenment.
The time spent in Missouri sometimes feels like an unreal adventure – not quite real – maybe a dream. Now that we are back to Tulsa, holding onto what we learned, while living the mundane life of suburban worker bees, will be a challenge.
Even now we are still suffering from the exhaustion of the three days of cleaning and moving – and letting go emotionally of hopes, dreams, and losses. I shall write more as I continue to recover and move onward through the week.