a step in the right direction

I have ridden my horse twice over the last week. This is huge. I won’t go into all the reasons why and it wasn’t that much of a ride, but I did more than I have ever done in the saddle with this particular horse.

I stayed on longer than I have had to date. We walked about without someone having a hand on my thigh to give me encouragement. I also got irritated at her instead of being afraid which is even better! (that reads strange but trust me that is good – it means I’m taking back my position as the one making decisions instead of letting the horse babysit me).

I must be back with my horses if I’m going to regain any thing of myself. Right now there is a growing concern that regaining that Self IS the top priority!

Today is my Freedom Friday as I get it off from work. One of the few huge benefits of this job is having my Fridays off. Generally, I need it to recover from the Monday through Thursday daily insult grind. Today though I feel good enough to actually do something.

This weekend I will be totally alone for 24 hours. No husband and no kids. Probably the first time in a year. I’m way looking forward to the peace and quiet, with no obligations and cell phone off!

Tonight is the last night of the full moon so although, being in suburbia, I can’t howl under it, I think I’ll find something to do. Probably go and commune with Rabbit.

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