After the shadow episodes, Grenwinae volunteered to talk to his Guides to see what input they had about this. After getting his input, I decided to start this journal exercise started by Cauldrons and Cupcakes, some of which I’ll put online and some offline.
Much of this work I’ve done already. Basically, at my age I already know a lot of stuff about myself; there’s no need to be at ground zero. I am not in unhealthy relationships, horrible job (any more thank goodness!) or unhappy. I already know what I need physically: how I need to get back to exercising, eating better, and using my CPAP machine to breathe at night.
I spent this last year releasing so much shit that even my Guides told me to STFU about it. Instead this is now a period of dreaming new growth, being creative, reaching into areas that put me back into a visual position and taking risks. Something that I have deliberately withheld doing.
I’m also growing more certain that Peacock has been sent to help me. I’ll try working with this Guide and see what happens.
I did an outdoor meditation at the Nature Park on Sunday. I almost didn’t go because I was so damn tired from not breathing at night. However, we got pumped and went. Didn’t see any animals, other than birds, but we saw evidence.
From the meditation:
1.) Create and dream for now with no secular, end-product, financial reward. Creating and dreaming is important right now for it’s own sake. I’ve done way too much work because I had to do it, to survive. I’m moved past survival and basics to live….
2.) Creating stuff that doesn’t work or doesn’t sell is okay. It’s okay just to do stuff like this even if it doesn’t make money, feed me or clothe me.
3.) Set boundaries with my partner by trusting my own intuition. I need his support and encouragement but I can look into my own heart and know what is right.
4.) Allow myself to truly believe and embrace that our lives will change in the manner I want them too – given time we shall have sold this house and moved to a country location with a new, much smaller home with our animals.
Okay I will continue to blog about this week one challenge over the next few days but this is the start.
What did I need today to self-nourish? Clean up my bathroom and bedroom areas! Which I did! Tomorrow, I will tackle my meditation area and make a list of herbs that I wanted to tincture.