As I prepared for my meditation today, I was going to use my Tiger Iron stone (a mixture of Jasper, Hematite and Tiger’s Eye) but something pulled me to my large piece of Rose Quartz, an Apophyllite Tip of crystal as well as the Charoite stone I had set down within a shell at my meditation table.
Even though I didn’t sink into a deep trance state I had a rather in-depth conversation (my interactions are often just internal conversations: me asking or commenting and in return being corrected, guided or re-directed) so I’m writing this up as how it unfolded in my head (Charoite on my Third Eye, Rose Quartz on my Heart).
I walked into a glow of soft pink light and the conversation began with a Them (who They were I don’t know so can’t answer that at this time. It spoke as one voice and was genderless):
It’s time for you to allow Healing to take place
The entire time we are chatting, I’m still surrounded by pink light and though I’m aware of the street noises and sometimes my thoughts wander, the pink light doesn’t go away and the conversation for the most part stays on track.
Okay, but I thought Healing was supposed to Hurt. I’m not really feeling anything. When are you going to start poking?
The Lessons of Pain are past. They have been Learned. This is Healing.
The last sentence they show me unzipping my skin on my arm and that nothing is wounded, bleeding, or weeping inside and then they just zip me back up.
That sounds good but why don’t I feel like I’m okay inside?
That’s a reflex response to old stuff that doesn’t really bother you anymore. It’s a habitual response. YOU don’t want to let it go –
(image of a baby sucking a bottle).
I think on all the stuff I’m not getting done or not feeling emotionally ready to deal with: like cleaning the house, organizing myself better, even cleaning out the garage, the exercise regime I haven’t started….
Until you accept – CORRECTION ON THEIR PART – EMBRACE – your feminine side you can’t gain what you want. Fully embracing is the healing you need to do.
I won’t go into the personal stuff I don’t want to share here but yeah, I see what they are telling me and I’m getting it. I don’t think this is going to be easy as it’s going to fight against every instinct I’ve got to do the opposite.
I’ve entrenched myself into a mentality that I have to shut off that part of myself – of beauty, gentleness, nurturing, loving – in order to survive. Giving up on that is going to take prying my hands off the railing of a bridge extending over a very deep ravine.
Deer and Peacock are sent for you to understand.
This wasn’t all spelled out in words but more in an instinctual whammy of understanding. These two have been sent to teach but won’t remain or be as personal as my other, long time Guides – Owl, Hawk, Vulture and Rabbit.
Deer is to teach me softness and gentleness. I actually got two hugs from my daughter in the last 24 hours because of thinking on Deer. Deer is the Loving and Nurturing Mother without condemnation, guilt or manipulation. This is not quite the role model my mother was and being more along a Predator-mentality myself, it’s hard work to learn those lessons! I tend to lapse back into a Lion mindset.
Peacock is to show me the Flash – taking care of myself physically, letting myself enjoy jewelry again, better clothes – no matter if I lose weight or not. Peacock is more about the Show and the Glitter – let’s BeDazzle the crap out of it! is Peacocks motto.
I guess Peacock would be my Gay-Husband to show me to strut my stuff. He’s kinda embarrassing – not because he’s gay, but because he is such a Diva who brings a lot of attention to himself (and remember, I’m Owl). He’s the guy that is constantly yakking to the sales clerks in the store, and asking for one more thing to try on. Showmanship and Life of the Party is not generally how I would describe myself.
Before we finish I ask about my business. They tell me it will all be okay and that I have a lot of creativity I can tap into. My ability is not to make grand art, but to make art out of ordinary things because I see them in a different way – I’m able to make connections that others don’t and I need to rely upon this talent in forming ideas and products for the business.
Yes, people will pay you for that. Relax.
I’m shown that I am to meditate (bathing in pink light) with the Rose Quartz before going to sleep, so when I was done, put the Rose Quartz and Charoite on my bedside.
They release me out of the pink and I put my things away. When I log back in to write this, I’m immediately faced with two Owl articles (one here and one video) so I think yes, I’m on the right track with this.
Healing without Pain? Hm that seems to go against my Protestant ancestors ideas of Work til You Die, Suffer because you are Sinful, and all that jazz. Yes, please more, thank you.