Monthly Archives: April 2015

Hello? Is this mic on?

About a month ago, prior to a trip, I saw the pair of our Coopers Hawks cross over the house. One was attacked by a crow and than a moment later, only one flew back over. Well, that was pretty scary as an Omen but nothing happened.

Since than, for the past month, no hawks: no shy Hawks, fence post sitting hawks, no hawks on Hawk Hill, zip, naddo, nothing. I’m thinking my Hawks are off raising babies, sitting on nests, cuddling with their SO.

The “radio silence” has been deafening.

Last week, I did observe one hawk who flew over to sit on a telephone wire. I had time to observe him because I was stopped at a light. A crow harassed him and when the Hawk ignored him, it settled down on the wire about a foot from the hawk. Every moment or two, the crow would fly up and flutter about the Hawk and maybe peck him on the back.

Hawk suffered it and tried to appear nonchalant. The crow eventually left.

I hope Hawk is not telling me that I’m behaving like a Crow and leave him alone!




Iron fist, velvet glove


Right now diplomacy is needed. I would rather kill something and feel the blood on my mouth and the bones cracking between my jaws. But is time for the iron fist in the velvet glove.

I have given notice that my old retired horse will be moved. The landowner has counter-offered in an attempt to get me to stay. I have reciprocated with another counter offer. Now it is time to wait.

My sister has sent me an email – a fishing expedition to worm her way in to get gossip to repeat to my mother. Two months ago, my mom used my brother R. Since my brother D and I are dancing the family tango of not speaking – she has been shunt of any way to get information about me and my kids.

Oh puhlease, you don’t think I know what you are doing? I am the only self-aware member of this family. And if you think because I am generally easy going that I will roll over and play? Hell no.

Just because I don’t raise my voice, throw things against the wall – like people – or kick the computer in a rage, doesn’t mean I can’t handle any of you. The reality is you are far more curious about what I’m up too than I am about you.

Diplomatic letter sent reminding her that decades of non involvement with my children who are now almost 18 and another 21, won’t happen. Too late.  I did remove the part about not attending anyone’s funerals – that seemed a bit too much for an email.

See, I can be a good lion, when I put my mind too it.

bridle that bitch

Grenwinae was telling me about a discussion he had with a fellow pagan about how she was getting more comfortable with her unconscious through her shamanic studies.

Because it was just him and me, I replied with honesty: “I don’t believe in playing paddy cake to the unconscious — open that shit up, punch it in the face, bridle that bitch and ride it hard to hell.”

There was a short pause before he started laughing. Laughing because I was dead serious and he knows that is what I would do and have done. Laughing because he is a gentle soul married to me, not so gentle. Finding it funny because my serious, intensity he finds rather cute.

It’s nice to have someone who gets you, is comfortable to be himself, and doesn’t feel afraid (other than wanting to ease me back to sanity sometimes).

PS No insult to anyone who wants to deal with their unconscious in other ways.