Category Archives: Intuition

Owl reminds me

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Little Owl, Athena noctua

Driving to the barn this weekend with Grenwinae and in our path was a dead raptor. Well, that message was pretty clear so we turned back and Grenwinae gathered up the body in a sack to take home for burial.

He dug a hole were I asked – inside our yard, front the back gate to the greenbelt area. When he opened the bag and removed our bird, I understood. I had been expecting a hawk but instead it was a Barred Owl. The Owl that had begun all this business back in Missouri.

We buried Owl in the dark with ceremony. A Tigers Eye was gifted along with herbs. He is near the other Owls and their Hoots.

That night I had a confusion of Dreams. The last image in my mind before waking, was of me, a small Athena Owl on my shoulder.

*~*~*~*~*

I have neglected the spiritual side of things. I’ve always been good at entering the labyrinth and fighting monsters but not so good at bringing back the hidden knowledge.

Trusting Intuition

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A couple of weekends back, Grenwinae and I went off to a nearby State Park that we had visited years ago but hadn’t been to recently. This was the weekend before fall break and it was deserted (the next weekend it was like a trip to the Mall at Christmas).  Gorgeous weather and some neat stuff happened but the next two weeks following has been a literal hell for me so I didn’t feel like posting this and even now it’s been broken into fragments….

At one point, Grenwinae and I had separated physically so he could work with his pendulum. Getting him outside so he could start working with nature and fey spirits had been our goal and mine was just to escape town and never look back. I turned away and there was an opening up in the woods with a path that climbed out of the river bed we were out and I heard a voice: go that way.

As I walked through the tree opening, I looked up and Vulture came flying close down over my head. For the next few minutes, Vultures continued circling me and then Grenwinae joined me and we moved on down the trail.

We had a discussion about the Elements: I identify with Fire (more of my youth though) and Air (because of my constant need for flight, movement and migration). He identifies with Earth (solidity, comfort, sameness) and Water (he’s more of a still waters run deep kinda guy, but not the overally emotional type despite being Water connected).

I will write more about Elements at a later date….

At one point, trying to make our way back to where we parked the car, we were trying to figure out if there was a switchback from our location. Vulture flew over head and dropped down Go That Way which was uphill and I really didn’t want to go up hill anymore.

He dropped down lower, right over me: I want to see this Spiritual person on her Spiritual Journey who won’t do what her Spirit Animal Guide tells her . While I was being looked at, I found a feather on the ground and said, “fine, fine, fine!”

Of course the path led us back to the car and after I merged from where the two trails joined, Vulture dropped down over me again and said Told you. Just a little smug. Vulture is too friendly; if it had been Hawk that would have been different.

Grenwinae went to finish up with his Pendulum while I stood by the car. With the wind, the Oak tree kept bending down to touch me. I don’t talk to trees; that is a Grenwinae thing but I touched the leaves and had a feeling of comfort and happiness.

When he got back, I told him that the tree wanted one of his rocks as a gift (he had been carrying some special things to give back as this was part of his own spiritual work). He held out four rocks, asking me which one.

I looked and thought “this tree will pick this one” but didn’t tell him which one and told him to let the tree choose. I thought I would see what my intuition gets me. When he got down, it turned out to be the rock I had thought-chosen.

Well it was a great weekend but then I hit a huge emotional skid which I will write about later.

 

New Moon Night – dealing with a sly sneaky bastard

I won’t go into the entirety of what we did. I don’t think magick should be laid out that clearly. Besides what would work or feel right to us may not be for you. OTOH, how will you ever know anything unless you learn? Unless someone pulls back a veil and shows you what they did?

I am not a believer in demons or even really ghosts. But I do believe in energy as I have seen what it does and I have felt it. Whatever, was lingering about, whether made from our own unconscious, from someone who meant us ill, or some depressed, nullifying energy vampire monster floating around looking for a good feed, it needed to be dealt with.

It need to be handed its walking papers. It needed a kick in the balls.

We agreed that the main purpose was to move energy – to dispel and break it, so the New Moon was a good moon time period as well as the affiliation with Cancer (family and home). The black pillar candle was etched with protective symbols, it was joined by a candle of white (purity, innocence, light itself) and a silver candle (the halfway world, balance).

A protective, “breaking bad” loose incense was made. Branches were cut with permission from our resident pine tree, joined with backyard birch deadwood to be the base of our fire.

After casting a circle in basil salt, we began our custom chant to aid our daughter. Near the beginning a swarm of insects attached themselves to my upper body, and a grasshopper (an insect I particularly hate) was going to hop onto me until Grenwinae gently tossed him outside our circle.

As Grenwinae chanted, the fire struggled. When certain words were said, a wind from nowhere picked up and tried to smother the fire. We kept fueling it with more and more matches. Finally it settled and started gaining ground.

When certain words were said, it was as if a huge dome came over our heads and the area about the fire was cast into a deeper darkness. This happened at least three times.

Do I think we “killed it?” Not yet, we did get its attention but it has a lot of tentacles deeply embedded. The message I felt strongly was that it did not want to let go. It is also very subtle in its work. Very subtle and nefarious.

Grenwinae felt lighter the next day. I just felt exhausted. The next day we were both plagued with a lot of irritating nothings that keep pecking at us. Okay, I see what you are trying there: destroy our focus, keep us busy with nothings, wear us down, let us detach from our purpose. Fuck you!

When daughter came home that afternoon from grandma’s weeklong visit she went off inline skating and found a Hawk’s feather which she brought back to me. If you just came to this blog you won’t know why this is significant, but Hawk is one of my most vocal Animal Guides and I had just meditated to him regarding help for this issue.

It is a beginning.

We have a lot more work to do.

But yes, it’s a beginning.

New Moon Incense – Dispelling, Purification and Breaking Bad

I put together a loose incense for my New Moon work for daughter. It’s purpose was to break this foulness that seems to have attached itself to her in the forms of depression (yes she is being clinically treated).

How do I compose these ingredients? Why do I choose this over that? Most times I like to limit my ingredients to less than 5. There is no reason to dump the entire kitchen sink into the recipe, however, as you will see, yeah, I’m not fucking around.

First, determine the action you want and what is working against you. We felt there was some sort of nebulous, dark energy attachment that needed to be strongly dealt with.

Second, mentally think out the personal dynamic and what you feel about the materials you have chosen. This is where intuition plays a part; the more you work with the materials you use (in my case organic herbs, spices, resins and plants), the more comfortable and “right” you will feel about your choices. For example, my choice of a Willow bark and St. Johns Wort was specific to this situation.

Thirdly, how will you use it. This compound was to be tossed on a fire of pine and birch (both protective trees) so it didn’t need to be bound into a cone form. I wanted something composed of burnable materials like roots and flowers, as well as resins which smoked.

Root and Floral elements:

Galangal Root (Low John) – energy, strength, courage, hex breaking, burn to remove ill spells and break curses.

Burdock Root – protection, healing, wards off negativity, holds sacred space.

St. Johns Wort – Banishes, protects against black witchcraft, burn to banish demons and spirits. Linked to helping depression medically.

Willow Bark – Guards against negativity, brings in the spirit of the moon, ending pain. I use a willow wand in my work and felt this would benefit our mother-daughter connection.

Resins:

Myrrh – consecration, healing, enhances any magickal working.

Frankincense – enables the divine to manifest. Consecration, protection, purification.

Copal – love and purification, sets sacred space, allows guides and guidance to happen.

Dragons Blood – strong banishing powers, use with any spell to increase potency.

Spices:

Cloves – banishing, protection against evil forces,

Cumin – burn with Frankincense to increase Frankincense’s ability.

Black Pepper – burn to dispel bad vibrations, being a spice is linked to increasing energy of a working and to casting off.

the best defense, a good offense

A couple of months back, I took daughter out of town to have some tests done. Things have been going on a downward emotional spiral for her for several years and we have tried several things to help her but it is a slow climb upward.

After the first trip, we were driving back on the highway and had just pulled up on the entrance ramp. She had fallen asleep already. As I accelerated, a huge black shadow, the mass size of a horse came barreling at us from the right side of the road. It was like a monstrous black cloud mass that had a galloping movement such as a dog or wolf.

In a blink it was gone. Had I imagined it?

*~*~*~*

Two days ago, I saw a deer along the woodside drive that I take to the horses. I pulled over to watch and a large black shadow flew over the car. I looked up and saw a Blue Heron. Afterwards I saw a lot of hawks. Clearly, I had a message in my inbox.

Yesterday, I spent several hours asking for guidance and meditation on this situation. I deliberately selected and set aside the Deer and Crane from the Druid Animal Oracle Deck. I asked for cards to give further clarification and pulled from the Earth Oracle deck, two cards:

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Deer – Mother love, patience, gentleness is expanded with Dreamtime: Creation. I had already been thinking, and this card combination affirmed, that I would need to create a new relationship with Daughter. An environment of loving acceptance, gentleness and understanding instead of guilt, anger, frustration and/or criticism.

*~*~*~*

Generally, I don’t worry to much about personal protection. I’ve set some things up and I renew them but anything would be crazy if it wanted to take me on. I will post further clarification about this in a later post.

OTOH, my daughter is vulnerable, far too much. Last night, two hours after I did the above,  around 6 p.m., my daughter was involved in a car accident. She, and my MIL, are okay but it lends urgency to my thinking something needs to be done on an energy-spiritual level. Something doesn’t like being noticed.

Tonight we will be doing a special working just for her; I don’t expect it to resolve her issues but if there is anything after her, Grenwinae and I can let it know it has been put on notice. The New Moon in Cancer is a perfect time!

Before the plunge

I have the feeling something is going to change. With what has been happening with my guides lately (in addition sudden reappearance of Vulture, Cooper Hawk again in my backyard, and Owl having an increased presence), the atmosphere has taken on the heaviness that air does right before Tornado Weather.

There is a waiting expectation of quiet anticipation. Something is going to be uprooted. Something will be let go. Something new will be birthed and labor endured.

Right now I feel like I’ve given all the flexibility I had to give, so I’m hoping this change or shift isn’t going to be one that leaves me slammed to the floor.

I’m rather skeptical that I will be enjoying this whatever-it-is. Changes and shifts could have waited til the Fall when I was better recovered from last years’ excitement. However, Nature waits for no one. Spring is coming.

Coming Back ~ Couples Retreat

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This is a multi-part posting – the latest post is seen first, so if you want to go time-wise scroll down and start at the first post (4th back): Couples Retreat: Pineville, MO.

Sunday we thought we would leave for the day and visit a nearby State Park. About 15 minutes on the trip and I had a really strong feeling we needed to turn around and go back to where we were staying. It felt like a solid weight in my stomach and it just got worse the more distance we traveled.

Luckily, Grenwinae had no problem with making that adjustment. I had decided on this trip to make an effort to be more intuitive and I think this really paid off in this instance.

As soon as we turned back we started seeing a lot of Vultures. I spotted one on the top of a telephone pole, his wings spread out like they do to dry them.When we got back, a Vulture flew overhead for the first time since our visit.

*~*~*~*~*

The last day and I decided to leave my Vulture feathers (without their beads or leather smudging handles) in the bowl of feathers in the cottage we rented. It was wrenching to let go of them as they were my first animal gift.

Outside, Grenwinae led our final goodbye and as he finished, a Vulture flew right over us, coming from my back – very low (maybe 12 feet above) and I knew I had done the right thing in releasing the feathers. It choked me up a bit…

At the gate a group of four Vultures flew overhead again, circling and giving their blessing on the return journey.

*~*~*~*~*

We deliberately left a bit early so we would have plenty of time to take it slow. This was probably the first trip return where I didn’t feel anxious or antsy to return. Because of the calm and peace, we decided (on impulse) to stop at this little state park that turned out to be quite something!

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